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Came to a wedding late, but still the first.
mildlyinfuriating | by /u/Sad_Rough_1173 | 112 comments | 2026-09-05T17:57:45+00:00 Central
Post
My family always comes to celebrations first, even
though we live far away. For once, we decided to
arrive late on purpose, but that still wasn't
enough.
Edit: They forgot to bring the rings to the church
mariage
Edit 2 : For those who are wondering, we directly
went to the ceremony and we came 2 hours after the
reception time that was on the invitation
Final edit : It was an Indian wedding (here was the
reception).
Comments
| /u/TwoAccomplished4043 We sent some of our wedding guests invites with an earlier start time, and they still were late lol |
| /u/DanHero91 We had a small wedding on the day with just 10 people and I knew every single one of those fucks were gonna be late and miss the strict half hour window. So I told them all 2.45pm Queue 2.55pm and everyone's gunning it to the location and saying how sorry they were and of course they're never normally late. I didn't tell them until 2.58 when we were outside the door it starts at 3. Mother in law is still a little mad at me 7 years later but every time I just say "I was right though." |
| /u/TwoAccomplished4043 Hahahaha well played! But you revealed your hand so they will be suspicious moving forward 😂 |
| /u/DanHero91 Nah I've done it twice since then. I gotta pick my moments for the really important bits but they're all just awful at time keeping. So chill about being half hour late to restaurant reservations while I'm freaking out (and starving). |
| /u/kaiser_charles_viii Ive done the opposite to my wife a few times when we're meeting up for dinner after my work (she works mornings). I tell her about half an hour later than I want to meet up with her for dinner at a place near my work because I know she is consistently about a half an hour early. Unfortunately she learned my trick real quick and so sometimes shows up even earlier just to spite me for tricking her into not having to wait a half an hour by herself in a parking lot. |
| /u/annalatrina She likes the half hour of zen time in the parking lot. It's important to her. |
| /u/humpbackwhale88 Am I... this guy's wife? lol. Because I love a parking lot zen moment before a social gathering. |
| /u/Wankeritis Gives me time to remember how to interact with other humans. If I don't get time then I end up saying weird shit to people who aren't odd like I am. |
| /u/painfully_disabled I'll need to do this in the future it's family lore now that my husband is always there first and the earliest. No one believed he was the first until he was early to his surprise party. The family has finally accepted the order in which they arrive lol |
| /u/purplehazzzzze this is adorable lol |
| /u/robownage My father was so chronically late when I was growing up that my mother openly lied to him about the start times for things. But she was completely inconsistent - anywhere from 5 minutes to an hour - to keep him on his toes. |
| /u/National_Cod9546 The real trick is to tell them the right time. Then start without them. |
| /u/finlandery Yea, this is the way. You want to miss fun stuff.... its u problem. Sucks to be u if you lose half a movie. |
| /u/Thunder-Fist-00 That feels disrespectful of them. Couldn't be on time for your wedding? Do they show up to work on time? This kind of behavior really bothers me. |
| /u/Directly_Home Late people are only late for friends and families. They're on time for flights and job interviews. |
| /u/medster87 I'm consistently late for everything, even work, that's why I stick to a job that's flexible with my start time |
| /u/ravynwave I've done the same to a friend who was chronically 30 min to 1 hour late. Until one time she actually showed up and had to wait 45 min for us. She did get the memo and is rarely late after that b |
| /u/leagueittor Like any other time is going to matter as much as the wedding, they placed their ace at the right time |
| /u/nah2daysun I always did this with my daughter. Told her we had to leave an HOUR before we actually did. Guess what, nailed it every time. My husband used to get worried because I would wait until 20 min before we had to leave to get ready. But to my adhd brain it was fun. It literally takes me 5 min to put on makeup and do hair. And I eyeball the clock the entire time so I can say told ya so 😂 |
| /u/finlandery For me it was if im not ready, we are still leaving. Sucked to be me, if i did miss some of my stuff, then i was without them and learned to be on time next time. It was if we were leaving at 10am it did mean car started to move at 10 am |
| /u/cryssyx3 maybe I'm jaded but I bet she's pissed she couldn't take this from you! |
| /u/DanHero91 Nah she's lovely really and I prefer my in laws to my own family. Both sides are fuckin awful with time keeping though. |
| /u/curiousAlways Damn. 15 minutes late is not bad for my family. That's showing up early |
| /u/tehvolcanic I had some friends do that but they told everyone the early "fake" start time. So a bunch of us showed up at 2:45 for a 3PM wedding only to learn that it didn't start until 4 because the bride's family is always notoriously late. It was pretty annoying. |
| /u/annalatrina They should have had refreshments and entertainment ready at 2:45. On time people get a bonus party. |
| /u/estherclavin My friends had champagne and a staff member taking Polaroids for those who came early |
| /u/marshmallowhug My wedding ceremony was on a boat with a strict departure time. I think I gave one person the "real" time and everyone else got an earlier time. |
| /u/NoIdeaRex Family would do that to my mom and exactly one time she arrived at the time stated and was 2 hours early. The host wasn't even dressed for the party yet. |
| /u/LaundryMan2008 Haven't had to do it since I got assigned elsewhere in college but I almost wanted to say to come in earlier because a previous thing in the day has been cancelled (valid reason so they don't get sus about it), they kept coming late 30 minutes however that person was a great asset to the group so we didn't want to kick him off, if he was the opposite, he can leave. |
| /u/TOnihilist Oh, they were those people, eh? I have done something like that for some members of my family too. |
| /u/ManiacalShen That looks like the reception. Are you sure everyone isn't still at the ceremony? |
| /u/Sad_Rough_1173 We came two hours after the time on the invitation |
| /u/blue_jay_jay American's don't have a puritanical sense of timeliness (eg Germany), but I perceive we're generally better about being on time than others. If I say dinner is served at 5:00 and you're rolling in at 7:30, dinner AND dessert are over man 😠|
| /u/drossmaster4 I drive my family nuts because I'm always early. My dad drilled into me "if you're late you think your time is more valuable than theirs". (American) |
| /u/Flaky-Confidence-167 As it should be. I (a German) will never understand how it is the norm to be two hours or so late, it's crazy. |
| /u/snorkeling_moose As a Swede, I was taught growing up that if you were 15 minutes early, you drive around the block for 15 mins until you are right on time. Anything else is just pure rude. Minor hyperbole. But true. |
| /u/Express-Studio-8302 Also acceptable to hide in a near by parking lot hoping people going to the same party do not see you. |
| /u/sprucenoose And wait until you decide it's too late to go to the party and then go home? |
| /u/Winteryl As a finn, it is more like, hanging on parking lot with other guest until it's exact time to go in. Because everyone came bit early to make sure to be on time. |
| /u/quietfangirl I was taught to get there early and be prepared to be put to work helping set up lol |
| /u/RevolutionarySoup807 The worst for me! I'm ready at the time I've told people to arrive. If someone shows up early it throws me off my game. I have a couple that are friend that were usually 20mins early. They were told not to arrive early anymore. |
| /u/nah2daysun Yes! Early is rude too! I hate when I'm in the middle of finishing things up or trying to get dressed and here are these people waiting to come in 20 min early. The invitation was for 7pm, not 6:40. Go entertain yourself while I finish, and now I'm embarrassed. |
| /u/katze_sonne 3 minutes late is the real on time - it gives the host just a few more minutes to prepare everything. But don't be 3 minutes early or they will still be in a hurry :) That's what my aunt always said and I think it's perfectly on point. |
| /u/randomwellwisher American, was taught the same. Although now that I think about it, mom's family were Swedes. |
| /u/Pancake_Pi Or, you're just American and you were taught to be on time like every normal person? |
| /u/cornylamygilbert No I'm more complicated than that |
| /u/PuNEEoH Interesting. I had it drilled into my head that if you were on time, you were late. To be fair though, I was time blind my entire childhood and into my early 20s so being on time was a struggle for me. |
| /u/Stormfeathery American here and if you are two hours late for something I just figure you're not coming. And if you did show up after the two hours I'd be concerned and checking up on what happened |
| /u/humpbackwhale88 Dude, if someone is even 30 minutes late, I figure they're not coming and am already concerned lol. Two hours is absurd. |
| /u/finkerlime There are 100% entire cultures and countries where this is the norm ESPECIALLY for weddings |
| /u/Ristray How do whole countries work if time means nothing? |
| /u/Shahfluffers If it's a social event (wedding, dinner, BBQ, etc) then the event simply doesn't start until most people arrive. Generally what happens is that people will chill, drink tea, eat, and talk. And conversation must -never ever- be rushed. For any reason. Even when it does end and goodbyes are being said, something new will come up and the conversation continues. Again, you cannot leave until the conversation ends. It is ruder to terminate a conversation abruptly than to arrive late to anything. And there is a general societal acceptance of this. Now for work... eh... people are still late. But 15-30 minutes is more normal. People will chitchat until everyone arrives and if no one shows up, oh well. Reschedule and hope for the best. Source: I have to go to India every year or so for various reasons. Nothing runs on time. Not. A. Single. Thing. |
| /u/fullofcrocodiles Yep have been to Indian weddings where you're a fool if you turn up anything earlier than 2 hours after the stated time. I was that very hungry fool. |
| /u/Flaky-Confidence-167 In this thread alone I saw so many stories about how it's normalized to be several hours late. Even OP mentioned in a comment they were two hours later than the given time and still somehow the first ones to arrive. 10 to 15 minutes I can still excuse, especially if it's a one-off thing, happened to me in the past, will happen to me again in the future. On the regular it does get annoying to me though, having to plan extra around one person because they're always late, wasting the time of other people. |
| /u/FractalFunny66 How can an entire large group of people be so late? Where are all the other people? |
| /u/HyzerFlipDG yes being late is disrespectful to everyone else. I was always taught "Early is on time. on time is late". |
| /u/SparkleEmotions This was drilled into my head at my first job but my manager had another line at the end. "If you're early you're on time, If you're on time you're late, if you're late why the fuck do you work here." Frankly it's not hard to be on time, especially because it is disrespectful. It's never been a problem for me but I usually show up a bit early depending on the situation. I'm an American fwiw. |
| /u/ButteredBiscuits06 My nan drove me nuts- if you're not early you're late. Fine.. but one time she drove us to a shopping centre an hour before it opened and we had to sit in the car and wait. She often will get places half an hour early or more and ends up having to wait for ages. Make it make sense! As someone who now works with clients coming for appointments, I see how annoying it is for my time management if people are early so now i will arrive somewhere 10-15 mins early and just hang out in my car until the right time to walk in. There's a balance somewhere there haha |
| /u/Express-Studio-8302 Most people where we are in the US are on time. If it's a casual social gathering we do try to be "fashionably late" by 10 minutes. It's considered respectful to the host to give them time if they are running behind. But weddings, funerals, jobs, movie, dinner reservation, a date... We're on time. And people who aren't are considered rude and disrespectful. |
| /u/hungaryforchile Exactly this. Rock up a tiny bit late to casual get-togethers where there's nothing requiring exact timing, to give the host a small bit of breathing room to put on the finishing touches, but things like a funeral procession, food coming out of the oven, a wedding ceremony, etc.? You be ON. TIME. |
| /u/DirtyYogurt Bro I though Americans were bad until I had to live in Italy. I'm happy if people show up on the right day, and that's only mild hyperbole. |
| /u/Zealousideal_Ad_821 Depends wildly on culture and race imo (black guy) even as Americans. |
| /u/jodamnboi Incredibly true. I'm white and my parents give me hell if I'm 5 minutes late to something. My husband is Mexican, and we seriously considered printing their invitations with a 3:30 start time when it actually started at 4. They were rolling in at 4:15-4:30, after the ceremony was over. |
| /u/finlandery Why even arive, if you dont want to enjoy the stuff you are coming? I mean, why do you want to miss hour or multiple of event? |
| /u/En_TioN It's cultural. I'm white but I know that if my friends tell me their party starts at 5, rocking up at 5 will mean showing up while they're still showering and an hour of zero company before anyone rocks up. As a result I aim for 6 or 7 instead. That assumption becomes ingrained in us from our childhoods and then often clashes if someone else assumes that "starts at 5 means we're eating at 5" |
| /u/finlandery I will never understand that. Why not just say, arrive at some point of evening. If time does not mean anything, why even use it? If someone says x start at y, im there 15-10m before that, so i am ready to start at y |
| /u/GrapefruitOld3737 Could not agree more. It's even different for different coasts... for example I am on east coast and I started working for a west coast company and they show up 3-5 mins late consistently even for client calls meanwhile I feel like I'm late if I show up right at the set time. So weird |
| /u/Long_Run6500 I always just assumed it was just a sense of urgency. Like they don't intend to arrive late, they just don't prioritize arriving on time over things like answering the phone or looking good. I dated a venezuelan immigrant for a while and we always clashed over what time we needed to leave because she just had zero concept of how long it actually took her to put on her makeup. Like she'd start an hour before we needed to leave, but inevitably somewhere in there her mom would call her or something and then there would be a 45 minute conversation delaying her. One time we had a dinner at 5pm for a place that was 15 minutes away and it was 4:45 so I was like, "we need to leave now..." and she puts on her best deep American accent is like, "We gotta leave now so we don't show up at 5:05 when the card says 5 or those friends might disown us" and it caught me so off guard I couldn't even be mad. To her it was a bigger insult to show up not looking her best than it was to show up late. |
| /u/Gen_Spike Im american and it expected that if we have a party (10 ish people) you show up on time or earlier. When i lived in norway for 2 years it was regular to have people come anywhere from 30 minutes early to 4 hours late. |
| /u/SerenityN00w I'm American. Showing up early is considered rude. The hosts might not even be ready. They're getting dressed at the last minute (don't want to wear your party clothes while you're cooking and cleaning) or they're doing a few final tasks while the guests get here. Showing up 15-20 minutes late happens all the time and isn't considered rude for these functions. Assuming there are 10 people, the other 8 people can socialize with each other, and the meal usually isn't served for 30-90 minutes after the start time, so nobody is waiting or being inconvenienced. |
| /u/Mishmz In the upper Midwest, even in the non-German parts, most people will absolutely be there on time, early even. |
| /u/Inconceivable76 I would never knock on someone's door early. I will however sit in my car because I was early. |
| /u/Energy_Turtle If I showed up 2 hours after the time on the invitation and there was no one there, my assumption would not be that people haven't shown up yet.... |
| /u/SerenityN00w No. There's no way they had a reception, had everyone leave, and got everything cleaned up and set up for the next event in two hours. Edit - I said in another comment. Either something happened at the wedding ceremony or OP is in the wrong place. |
| /u/ReadontheCrapper I'd think it was canceled or I was at the wrong place |
| /u/SerenityN00w Agreed. I edited my comment to include an explanation that I put in another comment. |
| /u/Infinite_Music2059 In Vietnam, that could actually happen. I've gone to weddings at 7am and people eat while watching the ceremony and everyone is gone by 8-8.30 to go to work. I don't know how weddings work in India where OP seems to be from. |
| /u/Internal-Average-270 For an Indian wedding, whatever time the invitation tells you to arrive, assume the event will start at least 1.5 hours later. |
| /u/I3roMagnon 60-90 minutes for the ceremony, 1 hour to take pictures afterwards, 1-2 hours free time until the reception. This is my experience being a groomsman a bunch |
| /u/Helicreature I'm British. The reception starts immediately after the photographs. Many guests will have driven a long distance, sat through the ceremony, taken part in the photographs and by then will be hungry and thirsty, so what is the two hour gap for? |
| /u/ManiacalShen In the US, people often go to a "cocktail hour" while photographs are going on. Basically you mosey over to the reception venue for a glass of wine, hors d'oeuvres, and mingling before the wedding party arrives. Then you all sit down for speeches and the meal before the dancing gets going. Obviously there are huge variations in time and location and alcohol availability there, but I can't say I've experienced a fully dead, 3-hour gap between a ceremony and the next thing. I have no idea what you'd be expected to do if you didn't have a hotel room or a house right nearby. |
| /u/Mini-Heart-Attack Anywhere in Latin America? |
| /u/Curious_Rugburn I'm guessing Asia, possible with Viets. I see those Cocacolas on the table, but am looking for the Crown. 👀 |
| /u/snewchybewchies So you skipped the ceremony and went straight to the reception, though? |
| /u/TheodorDiaz You didn't answer the question. |
| /u/Nvrfinddisacct Honey dinners just over you just missed it |
| /u/Threedawg Look at the tables. Nothing has been served. |
| /u/oopsallowed I think you missed it |
| /u/PepeSilviaLovesCarol I've literally never been to a wedding where more than 2 people are late. That concept is insane to me. |
| /u/Love2Eat96 You need to come to a middle eastern wedding haha 3-4 hours late |
| /u/nkh86 I went to an Indian wedding reception once that started almost three hours late lol The space wasn't even set up when we arrived at the advertised start time. The couple had been legally married a year before (Covid delayed the reception). The groom's mother kept trying to make the bride (not Indian) stay hidden until the reception officially started but she was bored out of her mind waiting and we (her friends) had gotten there on time not knowing it was normal for Indian receptions to start late, so she refused to wait in the bridal suite and hung out with us at the bar lol |
| /u/PotatoesAndChill Same here at a Pakistani wedding. Never again. |
| /u/onehundredpumpchump I was a bridesmaid in a Pakistani wedding recently and it was running so behind but no one was surprised I guess lol |
| /u/Atreus17 I had the same experience at an Indian friend's wedding reception! We showed up 15 minutes after the start time and nothing was set up. Then 5 minutes later another couple shows up. Then an hour later EVERYBODY ELSE shows up, all at once! Luckily the bartender had taken pity on us and opened the bar while we waited. The reception was a total banger though. Some of the most fun I've ever had at a wedding. |
| /u/dillydally54 I'm always so curious about how these kinds of events work in cultures where everything starts late. Does everyone just know about how late they should be? Or are they less uptight about missing some of the "important" elements at the wedding if they arrive too late? I am from a very on-time culture so I feel like I would never know when to arrive if it's not the time on the invitation 😅 |
| /u/Slothfulness69 Basically everyone knows how late they should be. If you grow up in this kind of culture, you learn the rules of lateness |
| /u/AlphonseLoeher That's just so silly. It's like a performance at that point. "Knows how late they should" you mean, they actually arrive on time, just not the advertised time. |
| /u/SecondHandSlows Helps that you pre-games for an hour |
| /u/WolverinesThyroid I went to an Indian wedding once. It said start time 6pm or whatever. I specially asked Indian time or white people time. They told me white people time. The bride and groom didn't show up until 8:30. The doors to the venue were locked until 7:30 |
| /u/nkh86 When you went, did a lot of the guests split after dinner was done? It seemed like the place emptied out pretty quickly but no one seemed phased (almost all the guests were Indian except for the bride's family and maybe 5 of us from college because the grooms side hosted). |
| /u/Spirited-Sorbet-2775 Why even set a start time at that point? Not to fulfill stereotypes but I'm German. If you're 10 minutes late it's already rude. 3-4h at that point don't even bother showing up, you already missed most of the party. |
| /u/National_Cod9546 I had my reception in the basement of the church where the wedding was. If someone showed up 4 hours late to the wedding, they would have gotten to help clean up after the reception. Me and my wife were not even there 4 hours after the wedding. |
| /u/KirkBurglar real question: why not just schedule it later? |
| /u/ItsColoTime I went to an Afghan wedding once (in the US). invitation said it would start at 5pm. We all got there at 5. literally, the only people that were there were Americans. We didn't even know if we were in the right place, so we just hung around...finally around 7pm the groom walks down and he's just wearing a T-shirt not even dressed up yet. Says hi to everybody. Asks why we are here so early. 🤣 |
| /u/Mangoh1807 Same for latinoamerican weddings lol |
| /u/Specialist_Success75 And baby showers! My young cousin's partner is from a Mexican family here in the US. Her baby shower was scheduled for 2 PM, so we got there a few minutes early. A few other people were there and a couple of men were cooking and serving up delicious tacos, so that was nice. The family started trickling in but the shower wasn't really in full swing until 4 PM. I had to leave around then for the long drive home, but it looked like the party was going to go on for hours. I was really sad to miss it, because that family knew how to throw a fun party! |
| /u/oOthumbelinaOo Caribbean wedding not even in the Caribbean lol. Minimum start time is 1hr after the stated time on the invitation. The longest I waited for a ceremony to stsrt was 4 hrs |
| /u/finlandery i would just leave at that point. Tell me when i am supposed to be somewhere and dont waste my and everyone else time. |
| /u/National_Cod9546 Unless I was was a groomsman, I would have left after 2 hours. Fuck that noise. |
| /u/DataDude00 Indian weddings seem to have no concept of time People just kind of come and go throughout the day |
| /u/maxtacos My sister's wedding was 2 hours late. My brother showed up after the ceremony started and just before it was time to walk my grandmother down the aisle. Some family members were losing their minds, all the non-Hispanics. |
| /u/ElTimson Me and my wife were invited to a Moroccan wedding. All of uns Germans were 15 minutes early, every other guest came one to two hours late. The reception started three hours after what the invitation stated. Good times. |