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.[368]
Æmilius will get as much as the law allows;[369] although we pleaded
better than he. For he has in his court-yard a chariot of bronze with
four tall horses[370] yoked to it; and he himself, seated on his fierce
charger, brandishes aloft his bending spear, and meditates battles
with his one eye closed. So it is that Pedo gets involved, Matho
fails. This is the end of Tongillus, who usually bathes with a huge
rhinoceros' horn of oil, and annoys the baths with his draggled train;
and weighs heavily in his ponderous sedan on his sturdy Median slaves,
as he presses through the forum to bid for[371] slaves, and plate,
and myrrhine vases, and villas. For it is his foreign[372] purple with
its Tyrian tissue that gets him credit. And yet this answers their
purpose. It is the purple robe that gets the lawyer custom--his violet
cloaks that attract clients. It suits their interest to live with all
the bustle and outward show of an income greater then they really have.
But prodigal Rome observes no bounds to her extravagance. If the old
orators were to come to life again, no one now would give even Cicero
himself two hundred sesterces, unless a huge ring sparkled on his
finger. This is the first point he that goes to law looks to--whether
you have eight slaves, ten attendants, a sedan to follow you, and
friends in toga to go before. Paulus, consequently, used to plead in a
sardonyx, hired for the occasion: and hence it was that Cossus' fees
were higher than those of Basilus. Eloquence is a rare quality in a
threadbare coat!

When is Basilus allowed to produce in court a weeping mother? Who could
endure Basilus, however well he were to plead? Let Gaul become your
home, or better still that foster-nurse of pleaders, Africa, if you are
determined to let your tongue for hire.

Do you teach declamation? Oh what a heart of steel must Vectius have,
when his numerous class kills cruel tyrants! For all that the boy has
just conned over at his seat, he will then stand up and spout--the
same stale theme in the same sing-song. It is the reproduction of the
cabbage[373] that wears out the master's life. What is the plea to be
urged: what the character of the cause; where the main point of the
case hinges; what shafts may issue from the opposing party;--this all
are anxious to know; but not one is anxious to pay! "_Pay_ do you
ask for? why, what do I know?" The blame, forsooth, is laid at the
teacher's door, because there is not a spark of energy in the breast
of this scion of Arcadia,[374] who dins his awful Hannibal into my
ears regularly every sixth day. Whatever the theme be that is to be
the subject of his deliberation; whether he shall march at once from
Cannæ on Rome; or whether, rendered circumspect after the storms and
thunderbolts, he shall lead his cohorts, drenched with the tempest, by
a circuitous route. Bargain[375] for any sum you please, and I will at
once place it in your hands, on condition that his father should hear
him his lesson as often as I have to do it! But six or more sophists
are all giving tongue at once; and, debating in good earnest, have
abandoned all fictitious declamations about the ravisher. No more is
heard of the poison infused, or the vile ungrateful husband,[376] or
the drugs that can restore the aged blind to youth. He therefore that
quits the shadowy conflicts of rhetoric for the arena of real debate,
will superannuate himself, if my advice has any weight with him, and
enter on a different path of life; that he may not lose even the paltry
sum that will purchase the miserable ticket[377] for corn. Since
this is the most splendid reward you can expect. Just inquire what
Chrysogonus receives, or Pollio, for teaching the sons of these fine
gentlemen, and going into all the details[378] of Theodorus' treatise.

The baths will cost six hundred sestertia, and the colonnade still
more, in which the great man rides whenever it rains. Is he to wait,
forsooth, for fair weather? or bespatter his horses with fresh mud?
Nay, far better here! for here the mule's hoof shines unsullied.[379]
On the other side must rise a spacious dining-room, supported on
stately columns of Numidian marble, and catch the cool[380] sun.
However much the house may have cost, he will have besides an artiste
who can arrange his table scientifically; another, who can season
made-dishes. Yet amid all this lavish expenditure, two poor sestertia
will be deemed an ample remuneration for Quintilian. Nothing will cost
a father less than his son's education.

"Then where did Quintilian get the money to pay for so many estates?"
Pass by the instances of good fortune that are but rare indeed. It is
good _luck_ that makes a man handsome and active; good luck that makes
him wise, and noble, and well-bred, and attaches the crescent[381] of
the senator to his black shoe. Good luck too that makes him the best of
orators and debaters, and, though he has a vile cold, sing well! For
it makes all the difference what planets welcome you when you first
begin to utter your infant cry, and are still red from your mother. If
fortune so wills it, you will become consul instead of rhetorician; or,
if she will, instead of rhetorician, consul! What was Ventidius[382]
or Tullius aught else than a lucky planet, and the strange potency
of hidden fate? Fate, that gives kingdoms to slaves, and triumphs to
captives. Yes! Quintilian was indeed lucky, but he is a greater rarity
even than a white crow. But many a man has repented of this fruitless
and barren employment, as the sad end of Thrasymachus[383] proves, and
that of Secundus Carrinas.[384] And you, too, Athens, were witness to
the poverty of him on whom you had the heart to bestow nothing save the
hemlock that chilled[385] his life-blood!

Light be the earth, ye gods![386] and void of weight, that presses
on our grandsires' shades, and round their urn bloom fragrant crocus
and eternal spring, who maintained that a tutor should hold the place
and honor of a revered parent. Achilles sang on his paternal hills,
in terror of the lash, though now grown up; and yet in whom even
then would not the tail of his master, the harper, provoke a smile?
But now Rufus[387] and others are beaten each by their own pupils;
Rufus! who so often called Cicero "the Allobrogian!" Who casts into
Enceladus'[388] lap, or that of the learned Palæmon,[389] as much as
their grammarian labors have merited! And yet even from the wretched
sum, however small (and it is smaller than the rhetorician's pay),
Acænonoëtus, his pupil's pedagogue, first takes his slice; and then the
steward who pays you deducts his fragment. Dispute it not, Palæmon!
and suffer some abatement to be made, just as the peddler does that
deals in winter rugs and snow-white sheetings.[390] Only let not all
be lost,[391] for which you have sat from the midnight hour, when no
smith would sit, nor even he that teaches how to draw out wool with
the oblique iron. Lose not your whole reward for having smelled as
many lamps 

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